Today, British English is seen as one of the most sophisticated languages. As such, it may surprise many people that there are a number of British insults that are truly unique, and more vulgar than anything you’ve heard before!
As a Brit myself, I have often used these with my American colleagues and friends, only to find that they have literally no clue about them whatsoever.
So, I thought maybe I’d try to explain them!
15. Muppet
In America, the phrase muppet has been immortalized through The Muppets, with the most famous being Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. If muppet is ever used as a term, it’s mostly a playful one.
In the UK, however, muppet is a mild insult. Most Brits will use muppet to describe someone who is just a complete and utter idiot. Alternately, they will call someone a muppet to highlight how stupid they have just been.
For example, if someone just said something that was entirely obvious, like “The sky is blue” or “The sun is warm” a Brit may respond with something like “No sh!t Sherlock” before turning around a muttering “Muppet”.
Occasionally, if someone is even more of a muppet, you may also hear Brits emphasize this with some sort of curse, most commonly being “F***ing muppet”. It is often interchangeable with the insult “Moron”.
14. Billy no-mates
Practically everyone is familiar with the mildly insulting term “Loner”. Whilst British school children may still use this on occasion, they will more commonly use the British insult Billy no-mates.
Depending on the context, Billy no-mates can actually have two different meanings.
On the one hand, it is used exactly like “Loner” is. If a British school child is sat in the playground or school canteen alone, he will probably be called a “Billy no-mates” by his fellow students.
This is because they are stereotypically called “Billy” and have no mates (friends).
However, Billy no-mates will also be used to describe someone who just looks completely and utterly miserable. If they’re sat in a group, but look like they would rather be anywhere else, they’re probably a Billy no-mates.
13. Chav
It may surprise you, but the UK has a large population of what we would call chavs. These are roughly the same as trailer trash in the US, although there are a few major differences between the two groups.
Typically, these are working-class young guys and girls. They have high levels of teen pregnancy, have high levels of drug, alcohol and tobacco consumption and have copious amounts of tattoos, often done semi-illegally.
Chavs are often clad head-to-toe in knock-offs. For instance, they have a “Gucci” t-shirt on, which they claim is authentic, but is obviously fake (often with Gucci spelled something like “Guccie” or “Guicci” or something similar).
On top of this, they are also characterized for abusing the rather generous British welfare system. These people have often never worked a job a day in their lives, just as with their parents and grandparents before them, instead draining the welfare system for those who actually need it.
The areas where they live are often avoided by non-residents too, mostly for these reasons!
12. Pikey
An alternative for chav, would be pikey. Both are typically used to describe the same kind of people (the ones you wouldn’t want dating your daughter!) however, there are a few differences between chav and pikey…
Most commonly, a pikey is a chav who steals to either supplement or provide the majority of their income. However, they are not hardened criminals such as murderers, nor do they use weapons.
Instead, they usually break into houses whilst their owners are away. They then take things like TVs, Xboxes and jewelry, which they can easily sell at their local pub for a fraction of their actual value. However, they generally won’t touch things like safes.
A word of warning if you plan to use this one: Some people do get quite offended with this. This is because historically, pikey was an extremely derogative term, used to insult Gypsies and Irish travelers.
11. Dodgy (Person)
We’ve all know that one really weird person. We don’t know for sure that the commit any crimes but they don’t necessarily hide the that they aren’t law abiding citizens all of the time.
Typically, these people hang out with people who are either much older than them, or much younger. They are also characterized by either dealing or consuming drugs (or both!) or getting them for their underage friends.
In America, you’d probably refer these people as being a bid “Shady” or a bit “Suspicious”. In the UK, however, these people will likely be referred to as “Dodgy”.
Many Brits will also talk about the “Dodgy” parts of town. These are typically the run down areas, that often have a lot of crime and drugs in them. These are place where you are likely to be mugged as well.
10. Plonker
We all know that one person who is a but of an idiot. It’s not that they do anything in particular that is stupid. They’re just a little silly and/or immature, all the time and don’t know when to stop.
In the US, you have a number of different insults for these kinds of people. In the UK, however, we would probably refer to them as a plonker (assuming that we didn’t want to use one of the more vulgar British insults instead!)
Plonker has the connotations of someone just being a bit silly and not thinking about something before they do it. For example, pulling a younger sister’s hair would hurt their sister.
From my own personal experience, plonker seems to be extremely popular with small children. This is because it isn’t vulgar, so parents can use it with their children, without fear of them using it at school, and being told off.
9. Prat
For me, I think I probably use prat a bit too much.
If you want to call someone more than just a plonker, prat is probably the best way to do it!
Prat actually has two real meanings. The first is as a slightly stronger alternative to plonker. Whilst plonker is somewhat childish, prat conveys the message that they are stupid, and you do not like them for it.
The alternative meaning for prat is something like lazy. For instance, if you’ve got that one guy in your office who sits does the bare minimum he/she needs to do, and even that’s a bit too much. He/she is a prat.
In the latter context, you may hear British people talk to the office prat, get annoying with his/her laziness and walk off. Here, they will often mutter to themselves “Prat” or “What a prat” or on occasion, “What an f***ing prat”
8. Skiver
When we were at school, we all had that one friend, who you could count on to not be at school. In the US, you’d say that they were flunking, or that they were a flunker.
British school children, however, will call their school-ditching friends, skivers. This is usually more of a playful insult, where two friends may joke that the other was skiving, even if they know that is not necessarily the case.
Outside of a school setting, however, the phrase has a completely different meaning. In this particular instance, it is used to say that someone is incredibly lazy, it is often used in place of the British slang term bone idle.
This is more serious, especially if the person is skiving of professional or legal obligations such as their job or paying alimony. In this latter instance, it is more commonly used by older people to describe the young.
7. Arsehole
For many Americans, arsehole will probably seem quite familiar. And this is for good reason, arsehole is just the British equivalent of asshole. The only real difference is the spelling!
In the US, or at least in American media, you often hear people shout “Asshole” all on its own. In the UK, however, this is not the case. It has to be used in a proper sentence instead.
Perhaps the most common sentence it’s used in, is “He/she is a total arsehole!” This is closely followed by the equally as common phrase “He/she is a complete and utter arsehole!”
You may also hear the diminutive arse be used in place of arsehole. Whilst this is a term in and of itself, many Brits will also use it as a shortened form of arsehole, often using the phrase “What an arse(hole)”.
6. Daft Cow
If you spend anytime in the UK, you’ll more than likely hear this one. Chiefly, daft cow is aimed exclusively at women, usually those women who are being unnecessarily rude and/or annoying.
From my experience, you’ll often hear daft cow be shouted out of sheer frustration. Often this is because a woman is just being rude/annoying and you just want them to get out of your way, or just stop being so rude!
You may sometimes hear people use daft cow in a question, usually something along the lines of “Why are you being (such) a daft cow?” This is essentially asking “Why are you being so stupid?” or “Why are you being so rude?”
Alternatively, you could use this to describe a rather obese woman who is being rather inconsiderate to the people around her. This is because “Cow” is a British slang term for a woman (usually with negative connotations).
5. Slag
Anyone who’s watched a good American crime movie has surely come across the American slang terms floozy, whore and/or slut. What you probably don’t know is that Brits also have a similar insult…
This is slag. Personally, I’m not a big fan of this one, but I understand why many people use it. Depending on where in the UK you go, chances are that you will still hear whore, floozy or slut used, just as much as slag.
Literally speaking, a whore is a woman who sells her “services” however, as an insult, is a woman who dresses rather provocatively. The same is also true for slag, but there’s a slight difference between the two insults…
On top of dressing rather provocatively, the woman can usually also be referred to as a chav or pikey. They are also characterized as wearing a lot more makeup than is necessary, and having a rather thick American-British combo accent, which sounds rather stupid!
4. Two-Fingered Salute
I have been told that if you were to put up your index and middle finger up at an American, it’s just the same as waving at them. In the UK, however, the two-fingered salute, as it’s known, is much more vulgar.
Whilst we do have the middle finger to say something like “F*** off”, Brits will more often than not, use the two fingered salute to mean the same. To many Brits, this is extremely offensive.
I’ve actually been in a rather awkward situation involving this a few years ago. I was in New York, and I presumed the young American man who approached me was attempting to do the “Peace” gesture.
However, he got it the wrong way around. Having never spoken to him, I was rather perplexed as to what I had done to deserve something like that. It later turned out that it was just a simple accident, but it could’ve ended a lot differently…
3. Swine
Swine is arguably the least common of all the British insults on this list. At one point, it was extremely common, however, in recent years, it has become something that only people from public (private) schools would use.
This is because, especially if said in a rather posh, southern accent, swine comes across as quite a sophisticated way of insulting someone.
Typically, you’d call someone a swine, who has gone out of their way to be rude to you. For example, this is someone who has needlessly pushed past you on the subway, or someone didn’t have proper manners, or pushed into the queue.
Assuming you want to sound extra posh, you may even want to add the word “Insolent” in front of it too!
If you use this one in the North of England, you will more than likely be laughed at. Not only because you are an American, but because many Northerners do not like Southerners and vice-versa.
2. Tosser
In recent years, tosser has become fairly prevalent in the US, similarly as an insult. However, Americans use it completely differently to how we use it in the UK, to a point where it’s almost funny (for Brits anyway!)
Literally speaking, tosser has a rather interesting meaning… However, most Brits will use tosser as a way to insult someone by calling them a bit stupid, or just a complete and utter idiot.
Most commonly, tosser will be used after a conversation with someone. Typically this person would’ve annoyed you greatly, often to the point where you say “Tosser” to let out all of your frustration.
An alternative to tosser would be wanker. These two terms can be used inter changeably and have very similar literal meanings. However, wanker is the more offensive of the two terms.
1. Barmy
Barmy is probably one that people your grandparent’s age would use, often to their grandchildren. Nevertheless, if you are spending a lot of time around young children and their grandparents, you’ll hear this one a lot!
Most commonly, barmy is used to describe someone as being a bit silly, but in a childish sort of way (hence who it is used to the most!) Barmy is also used to refer to someone as being extremely foolish or naïve in certain contexts.
Often times, many Brits won’t take this as an insult. Instead, it’s often the people who use barmy that are a bit barmy themselves! In the North of England, you’ll also hear the term barmpot, used in a similar way.
In certain contexts, however, it is not an insult, but rather an adjective. You may hear some people refer to themselves as “Going barmy” which is something like “Going crazy” or “Going mad” in America.
Which are your favorite British insults? Tell me in the comments!